if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
