im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
