foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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