He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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