one might say we're banned from that church
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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