Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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