my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
