what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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