he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
