Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
