I'm jealous of your bromance
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
