they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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