if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
