it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're like the curious george of whores
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
