You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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