i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
