i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
