I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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