So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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