But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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