there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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