Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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