I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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