Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
