you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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