No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
