thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He felt like a one man threesome
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is my gift to your gina
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
