Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
