so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
