the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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