We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
