Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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