i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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