Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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