brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize