I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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