So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
