i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
