it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
