He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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