he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
