like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
