how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
