I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
