If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
