Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
