her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
