I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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