Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
