Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
